A few months back, I was attending my classes on campus, when I got a call from Sachin.
Sachin is a friend. He is a junior employee, who rose from the grade of a technician to an assistant manager in his company. He comes from an economically challenged family and faced many hurdles on the way.
Sachin was treated disrespectfully by his boss, over a work issue and in the heat of the discussion, some offensive words were used against him.
He talked to me and expressed his grief. I listened to him for a long time. I felt his pain.
At first, I thought I could tell him “It’s okay Sachin, I feel your pain. Do not take it to heart. It is not personal. I know your value; we’ll fix this when I get back.”
But then I remembered…
Prof. Surya Tahora, earlier the day, in Science of Spirituality class had taught us the difference between Empathy & Compassion. We had watched a video of Jeff Weiner(CEO of LinkedIn), explaining to Wharton graduates that “empathy is feeling what another living thing feels, and compassion is about putting yourself in another person’s shoes, seeing the world through their lens, for the sake of alleviating their suffering”
Then a thought arose, ” Whatever happened to him is wrong. This behaviour may repeat in the future. There is little use in assuaging him. It’s time to act.”
My action at this moment would echo into aeons.
How could I act in a way now, that can reduce his suffering.? I mean, what can I do? I am thousands of kilometres away and have assignments to submit.
Then it struck me.
I got reminded of what Prof Ratika Gore and Prof Jagdish Rattanani told in Contact-2 classes- SBI (Situation- Behaviour-Impact) model of feedback. Sachin was INTP as per MBTI framework. Rational models and management frameworks will make sense to him.
I told Sachin, “See, go back to your boss, ask him for a chance to speak alone, call him to the conference room.” I taught him the SBI method of giving feedback. I told him it’s a sound management framework that works.
He replied that he will try it out.
The next evening, after class, I saw a missed call from him. I called him back.
His boss, who we perceive as unapproachable, emotionally detached, had apologized four times to him.
Twice in the conference room, once again 10 minutes later, and another time an hour later. His boss said he was not aware of the words he used, that he was under pressure that day.
Sachin then said, “Thank you” to me.
I feel that the tone he used, and the emotional note in it, would probably stay with me for some time. I clearly saw the role these teachers played in Sachin’s life that day, and in the lives of people, he interacts with, in the days that followed. I understood, at an experiential level, how we are all connected, and how one mindful moment can impact another person’s life.
I felt gratitude towards the people who created the systems of SPJIMR and are part of its functioning. For, they empowered me with education, that increased my capacity for action.