Mar 08, 2018

Equality? It’s all about the Mindset

Vanita Bhoola.

“Equality” does it exist? Well, this question has been lingering on my mind for some time now. In the initial days post my marriage, when we had those little squabbles and tiffs (with my better half) I thought we were equals; as the years passed by, I had my relatives, family friends as well as a family physician repeatedly telling me “We are women, it is we who need to make the adjustments and compromises;this is what will keep both of you happy”. This repeated ‘advise’ initially led me to believe what they were saying as true; I began to behave unlike my natural self, wherein adjustments kept happening and I continued believing that it is ‘us’ who have to adjust and compromise.

Growing in age as well as in wisdom, I began to realise that men and women cannot be equal, as each has its specific role. Whether it’s the glass ceiling or the queen’s bee, it all exists under one umbrella. In a recent meeting, when I had to present my work and achievements of the year gone by, several women colleagues had a change in their body language; it isn’t a rare case- it’s quite common: this states a lot, wherein a woman needs to respect another women, which could translate to their achieving much more in their own workplace.

If we come out of the space of the ‘SaasBahu Series’ and start believing and adapting a Balanced Leadership approach, without fearing the failures and avoiding the queen bee syndrome, it would not only be us, but the organization, the collective consciousness at large would grow holistically. I remember another incident: while I was delivering a speech, I noticed a participant (woman)who was keen on asking questions, clarifying her doubts, but wasn’t feeling at ease as she was surrounded with men. I felt her unease and being the only lady participant in that forum I thought of giving ‘special’ attention to her. When I asked her if she had any questions/clarifications, hesitatingly she said: “I do have, but unlike all experts in this class I may sound silly”.

Little instances such as these, do go on to create a ‘boundary’ wherein you are limiting, inhibiting your own self and space. Let us all remember the hands that serve are more sacred than the lips that pray. Women have to learn how to stay dignified in all walks of life; her respect, her being an ‘equal’ doesn’t solely depend on her ability to multi-task be it at the board room or the labour room; ‘he’ is inherent in ‘she’- a woman compliments the man and vice versa. It’s the journey together that makes life much more diverse and thereby interesting.

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